Monday, January 17, 2011

My Subconscious is an Enigma

Wild, vivid dreams are no stranger to my unconscious nights. I often dream of outrageous things, however the last 2 nights they were different somehow...

2 Nights ago I dreamt that my husband and I were at an apartment complex we recently toured and as we stepped out we saw the bright red of the sunset- unusually red- filling the sky... we stared at it and suddenly it opened up and huge figures of men were coming through... they were the same color red like as if made of smoke and mist... I turned to my husband and said, "It's finally time..." and then I fell into unconsciousness. When I woke I was not in Heaven as I expected to be. The rapture had not happened- the sky never opened I just passed out and that was what I saw when I did... I expected that it must have been a premonition or something... the dream went on to other weird things- I woke up and it took a while to shake the feeling that it was real.

Last night I dreamt wildly again... I dreamt we went to the moon we flew in a shuttle- like a shuttle bus. It didn't take long at all actually. There were a lot of people with us too... like just other tourists.  We watched the new world they built on the moon go by our windows as it slowed to show us the beautiful new settlement... almost ready for people to move and live there- make the Moon their new home. It was full of large rivers and lakes and cities built on cliffs by the waterside. It was all new but looked old- like Narnia or Rivendale. With a golden glow and glittering light from the sun shining all over it.

The first dream was a little unsettling... the second was nice, however combined they forebare a frightful  picture.

Now I'm not saying my dreams are of the future or even that the things written to be symbolized by these things in dreams are real or to be taken seriously- but I have always felt that dreams are more than just random thoughts and memories from your waking life jumbled together into a stream of odd events.

I haven't found any dream dictionaries that cover "rapture"... but...

Sun: God, illumination, strength, masculine energy, your true self or conscious ego, life, waking consciousness (ironic, no?), joyous events and prosperity...

The Color Red- passion, anger, raw power, caution/danger, symbol of life...

A red sun predicts a struggle from which you will emerge victorious. (phewf!)

Moon (to see it): femininity, psychic/ intuition, feminine and spiritual self, light in the dark, success in love and business, fertility, new life

Moon (to fly to it): Global Disaster, war, famine, Troubles of all kinds you will soon hear of...

And then I saw this which coincidentally combined both dreams:
To see the heavens illuminated, with the moon in all her weirdness, unnatural stars and a red sun, or a golden one, you may look for distress in its worst form. Death, family troubles, and national upheavals will occur.

Creepy right?????? Lets just hope that it was just the ice cream I had making me dream like a loon. Although Jesus coming wouldn't be bad at all. So maybe we should hope that I'm a psychic and my dreams are premonitions. ;-)

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Indulgence, Diets, and Judgment

I don't really make New Years resolutions... they never stick and then just make you feel guilty for not following through. So, I made no resolution for 2011. 

Dear Husband and I have been talking about getting back to the gym and back in shape for a while but just haven't really gotten serious about it- what with the holidays and all... anyway I kept telling him "After the holidays are over we'll really get to work"... this was my excuse to indulge and eat whatever I want and not have to miss out on delicious and fattening goodies at parties and family gatherings. 

Although I suppose if it's a habit it wouldn't really be indulging would it?

DH bought me the Reebok Runtone's so I can run to work out, or at least that's the idea- but really the reason I wanted them is because the girls on the commercials have such great butts and my flat ass is a sad disappointment. I also decided to try that Special K 2 week challenge. The issue is that I'm the least self-disciplined person in the world- hate dieting, hate working out, always cheat... but I really do wanna shape up and feel better about myself (and my eternal spare tire). I figured this might be a good place to start.

Anyway, I went to Target tonight (a much delayed errand) to return some items and pick up a few things I've been meaning to buy like a scale and free weights... cat food, etc. I get up to the register and after I've laid all my purchases on the belt I suddenly feel an overwhelming rush of embarrassment as I see what it looks like. I've got an intense weight watchers scale, a million boxes of Special K diet bars, protein meal shakes, free weights, a yoga dvd, wheat thins, organic fruit strips... "Hi! I think I'm fat, my new years resolution was to lose weight, I'm really excited to start and I'm buying all this stuff to try and get skinny and feel better about myself!" Thats what my line up of purchases was saying to everyone that could see them and the check girl. I felt judged. So judged.

The Flavia Thief

Awkward and odd interactions are nothing out of the ordinary to me at work. Being the receptionist- usually all you get are the quirky, nervous, or obnoxious side of employees and visitors. Yesterday I was just sitting, minding my own business when an employee from the other building with a thick russian accent stops at my desk on his way to his building... He holds up an entire hangar of Flavia flavor inserts for our big fancy coffee machine and asks me, "Who is responsible for refilling these? The machine in my building is out of this kind and I need more- it needs to be refilled." I told him the name of our day porter who is the person who refills the machines every day. And to my surprise he had no idea who I was talking about.... 

Everyone at our company knows the day porter.... he's the guy u call to clean crap up, haul stuff, bring you things, set up for meetings... anyway, he had no idea who I'm talking about, and, quite frankly, seemed upset that I wasn't the one responsible for refilling the machines because he seemed to want to be mad at someone for his machine being out of the "raspberry spark" flavor (I'm not kidding- he was all in a tissy for that girly flavor)... And to make it worse he has those cookie-monster eyes where they're looking different directions... so it probably upset him that I was switching between eyes bc I didn't know which one to look at when talking to him... 

So he leaves me a packet of the flavor to show the day porter and then runs off to his building with all of the packets from our building's machine. I laughed in astonishment and called the day porter to tell him what happened. Of course, this is his domain- restocking and such... so he got a little perturbed that someone was messing with his stuff. He dashes over and asks me about the exchange and then goes running after the thief. 

Come to find out later, the russian employee's name is Igor. Sadly ironic.