Monday, December 19, 2011

Gift Guide!!!!!!!

'Tis the season to give to the ones you love... now, I know there are a million "gift guide"s out there but believe me- THIS is the only one you need pay attention to.

Here is a well researched list of the BEST gifts this year has to offer for everyone on your list!

Happy Shopping!!

For your fashionista gal pals:

Pajama Jeans are the best combination of function meets fashion- any woman would LOVE to be seen in these fashion-world-shattering gems!

For Your Tech-Savvy Friend:

iCarta is perfect for anyone who's even been spending quality time with the porcelain throne and thought, "Gee, I wish I had some tunes to enhance my toilet experience."

For Your Workaholic Father:

Anychair makes working around the clock an appetizing reality- you never have to go home for bed again!

For The Golf-Enthusiast:

Uroclub- it's a golf club that doubles as a urinal- need I say more?! Includes a privacy towel so you can pee on the green and no one will any the wiser!

For Your Pregnant Sister:

Fetus Cookie Cutter is clever and cute- perfect for baby showers, bridal showers, christmas parties and more!!

For Your Mommy-Friends in The Mid-West:

Peekaru makes keeping warm while walking while keeping track of your baby and keeping your baby warm easier than you ever thought it could be- comes in this fashionable fleece! Mommy & me was never so cute!

For Your New Yorker/European Friends:

Smoking Mittens- finally!! A solution for those who hate gloves but still need to keep their hands warm while they smoke! Lung cancer never looked so chic.

For Your Teenage Brother:

The Snuggie now makes it possible for your brother to keep warm under a cozy blankie while he plays his video games! All his friends will be so jealous.

I hope you enjoyed my 2011 Holiday Gift Guide!!!! Merry Christmas, dear ones!

Friday, August 26, 2011

Hire Me

So I've interviewed for this new job- a real, grown-up, full time job. It's perfect. An opportunity to use both my creativity and business knowledge in one exciting position. I won't hear back about a second interview until Monday, but the longer I wait, the more I transition from glad I at least had a good interview to desperately longing to hear the words, "we'd like to offer you the position." There are so many reasons I want and need this job... Jordan and I are planning on moving next month, and since the rental market is up, we're going to have to increase what we pay in rent- thus we need an increase in income. Also I'm tired of living in Huntington Beach... need to move to Newport!!

Other Reasons I Should Get The Job:
1. I'm perfect for it
2. It's perfect for me
3. It's in a city I want to work in
4. I can learn from it
5. It's an organization I can identify with
6. My waistline can't take another rejection binge
7. I look great in office attire
8. I already spent $300+ on a new job wardrobe
9. Jordan really needs a vacation; vacations cost money
10. I'm awesome
11. I lose weight when I'm busy
12. I need to lose weight
13. I found the perfect bag to be my new "grown up busy woman" bag
14. I'm fairly certain the girl who interviewed me could be my new bff
15. No one could do this job better or look better than me while doing it

**some reasons may be an exaggeration

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Healthy Schmealthy

Recently, Wholefoods opened a new store a cool 5 minutes from my house. I was excited- even though I'd never actually been to one. Also I did my senior business strategy project on Wholefoods... shoot, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned never having been to the store before.. whatever. So anyway, a few months back I started a heavy-duty diet, and so I went to Wholefoods to stock up on all their healthy foods. Since then I've been back, uhm, twice. BUT what I've come to discover is that I don't necessarily have to shop there and eat their food to be healthy- I feel healthy just being in a Wholefoods! Jordan and I popped in there this weekend for a quick bite for dinner and, although I got pizza, I just felt healthier! Jordan has been on my case these past 3 weeks or so to get back on a healthier meal plan- gnocchi in pink sauce apparently doesn't qualify as a health-conscious meal choice. And neither do sourdough bagels with cream cheese. Bollocks. So here's my plan, continue with my gnocchi, bagel, and chocolate milk diet (did I mention my recent obsession with Trader Joe's chocolate milk)- oh Trader Joe's is another store that I figure, "If it's from TJ's, it's gotta be healthy." Anyway, I'll just stay on that diet but spend a lot of time at Wholefoods. Who's with me? I should write a book...

Thursday, July 7, 2011

People Get Ready....

Ashton is coming! Well, I hope so... I just had a phone interview for a new full time position! AND I just got an email today requesting an in-person interview this Monday! Whoo! I'm so excited and nervous and happy... Nothing makes you feel better than getting positive feedback on a job interview- feeling like you're wanted and accepted and a possible asset. Nothing beats that feeling- except maybe getting offered a job.

SO now that I have a face-to-face interview coming up it's time I get shopping. Fashion Island, here I come!!! Of course I'm going to prepare for this in ways not relating to my apparel, but appearances make a huge impact on your success, and if you think they don't, you are sorely mistaken. I've worn my BCBG Maxazria suit to the last couple of interviews, so I think it's time for something different. Once I've got that in the bag- literally, I continue with my prepping via continued studying of the position requirements, the program, and answers to anticipated interview questions. I spent pretty much half of my 4th of July weekend in Big Bear practicing and overhauling my resume, all of yesterday studying and preparing for the phone interview... But you can never be too prepared. Remember the 5 P's: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance.

Wish me luck, darlings!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Goodbye Flaky, Helloooo Supple!

Last week I found myself in a crisis because suddenly I couldn't find my Burts Beeswax Chapstick!! That stuff is as much of a ghost appendage as my phone is. And it just vanished. For 2 days I was in lip hell... of course I have backups at home but I didn't think to toss them in my purse on my way out the door- I mean, Burt is always with me so I simply forgot he'd left me high and dry. 

Finally when I had a spare moment I dashed to a nearby beauty shop to restock. Imagine my horror and panic when I discovered they didn't carry Burts Bees! I wasn't about to settle for some cheapy Chapstick brand... but I was desperate (however not quite desperate enough to shell out $15 for the brand the sales consultant recommended) so I grabbed a brand she mentioned as being good and thought to myself on the way out, "I'll just toss this in the unused beauty bin at home when I pick up Burts somewhere else tomorrow."

But here is my shocking discovery: I found something better- yes, better than Burts Bees.... Hempz!

It's so smooth and absolutely the best lip moisture product I've tried! It left my lips mousturized and soft all evening, all night, and they were still soft the next morning when I woke up... just from the first application! I didn't go rushing back to it every hour after most chapsticks wear off and your lips are parched again- no! It stays on so long and feels so good. 

So run out and get some for your flaky ass lips today! Feel the difference! 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Makin' Changes

I've started another blog... don't worry, this one isn't going anywhere, I'm just doing a 30 day blog about the new workout and meal plan I'm on.

Check it out! But it's ok if you don't... the less people who follow it, the less people know if I give up after a week and spend another week bingeing on bon bons and pizza. Which I'm quite tempted to do.

In other news, I've started looking for full time employment- what with my home graphics business slowing immensely and the part time position I'm in now not giving me the challenge and hours I want... it's time. Jordan and I are moving out of our apartment this fall and we'd like to move up to either a bigger place, or a nicer place or both in a new city! And when you live in Orange County, a new city is only 10 minutes away. But of course to do that and to save up to own a home in the coming years we need to have a higher income, and now it's just the right time. So cross your toes and fingers and say a prayer for me that I get something- preferably a job I want to do for interest and career's sake.

I'm ready for change! And I hope it greets me fondly.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Are YOU An Obnoxious Movie-Goer?

Jordan and I went to see Bridesmaids the other night and, yet again, I found myself surrounded by one of my biggest pet-peeves: Obnoxious movie goers. You know who they are.... they don't even have to sit in your close vicinity to distract you, frustrate you, and cause you to "slow turn"... they haunt your drive to the theater and your wait until the movie starts- will they sit right behind me? Maybe it'll be a slow night and no one will come... Will I have a seat-kicker or a repeater? Who knows what horrors await you at the movie theater.

What are the common offenders? Let me enlighten the masses...

The Seat Kicker- pretty self-explanatory. This one is found in all shapes, sizes, ages and genders. You slow turn- nothing, you slow turn with a lingering look at the offender- nothing. When the movie ends you fight the urge to rip into them (or their parents) but chicken out.

The Repeater- repeaters want to make sure no one around them missed that hilarious line. And then every other thats even mildly funny.

The Diseased- these people seem to have brought the plague as their date. They cough disgusting wet coughs, sneeze or blow their nose constantly and make you wish you brought your surgical mask.

The Cheap Parent- they know it's cheaper to buy a child's admission ticket than pay for a babysitter, so they bring their young children into mature movies where they cry, need constant potty breaks, get confused.... which leads me to....

The Confused Child- found in not only children's movies, but also mature films, these kids just don't know what's going on, breaking your concentration to ask mom and dad, "Where is he going?" "Why did they do that?" "What is that?" They don't realize that if they sit tight, it will all be revealed.

The Too-Cool Teen Group- always found in packs, they seem to be being bred like rabbits. They go in and out of movies non-stop because they really aren't there to see the movie they're in. They laugh and chit chat in unconcerned, unhushed voices because "its such a stupid movie," (it must be or they wouldn't be cool). Their phones are always out and blinding you with their undimmed screens. And they couldn't care less if everyone else is trying to watch the film. But don't try to shush them, ask them to be quiet, to sit down or put their phone away- you'll only make them more obnoxious.

The Parentless- These kids/preteens are dropped at the mall/movie theater to run a muck of the place while their parents are off on a date or just getting away from their annoying children, they use the general public at these places as their babysitters. So their kids run in and out of different movies and ultimately end up encompassing multiple Obnoxious Movie-Goer traits.

The Food Thrower- now these are somewhat rare, and fairly new to the obnoxious club, but I, myself, have had 2 experiences this year. They take their popcorn and those $5 candies and instead of eating them slowly to make sure the comically dismal helping you get in those boxes makes it through at least the first half of the film, they throw it. Not just at some kids from their school sitting a few rows below, no, everyone is a target. 

The Micro-Bladder- you've never seen anyone with such a small bladder capacity! They take 2 sips of their soda and off they go pushing, shoving past you, practically sitting in your lap to get out and make it to the restrooms. This happens about every 20 minutes.

The Commentator- what they have to say just cant wait... "He's so cute" "What a stupid girl" "Oh I bet this is gonna happen..." But here's the difference between normal, courteous people and obnoxious clubbers- we make these comments sparingly- maybe 2-3 times during the movie and we whisper during a loud part. Commentators think we all all need to hear their clever or obvious or unimportant comment- they don't know what whispering is or they don't care.

The Book Fan Club Member- only recently have I come across this- thanks to The Twilight Saga... now I read the books, I loved them, and I wish the movies could have been exactly how I pictured them as I read, but I also know not to expect that when I see a movie based on a book. I know things will be changed and I am prepared to accept that without complaint. These club members can't accept the changes made and make sure the people around them know it by saying "that's not how it happened in the book," or what should be happening at this part... "Why isn't Bella shouting his name as she runs through the fountain? She's supposed to be shouting his name!!!!!!!!" 

The Professor- this guy knows everything there is to know about the movie you're seeing, the book it was based on, the stories behind making the film, and the actors' love lives. And they bring someone to see the film with them that knows nothing so they can impress everyone around them with their vast, unending knowledge and skills of explaining everything.

The Texter- what's that blinding light drawing your attention from the movie every 5 minutes? Oh, just The Texter's phone... but don't worry I'm sure their conversation is really important and just cannot wait. I'm not talking about one or two quick phone appearances- they happen. No, The Texter doesn't relent in their quest for most-texts-received-in-2-hours award. 

The Seat Saver- I understand saving 4 seats for your family while they get snacks, or 2 seats for the couple you're meeting, but saving an entire row with just ONE person?? No. And of course the 10 people they're saved for don't arrive until the previews have ended and the movie is starting. They stomp on your feet, knock your seat from behind, block your view and chat with each other as they straddle your lap on their way to their seats.

The Hater- Cool Joe here thinks the movie you're seeing is STUPID!! It's so predictable.. ohhh that's SO fake. Yeah right!! That would never happen! They can't believe they're seeing such a stupid movie. Nevermind everyone around them trying to enjoy the movie-they're stupid for liking it!!!

If you're reading this and at some point you go, "Oh crap, that's me!" Please correct your behavior, or go to matinees.

I hope this has been educational, and I hope that someday we can go to the theater and not just have an obnoxious-incident-free experience, but not even have to worry about the possibility.

Friday, March 18, 2011

I'm Finally Cool!!

Attention readers and adoring fans... All 4 of you... I am now all the things I wanted to be via owning- that's right- AN iPAD!!! I'm now the proud lover of yet another piece of fairly unnecessary technology and it makes me feel invincible! You may grovel if you like. Bt really I love my husband so so much and my inlaws for pitching in to buy me this beauty. Jordan worked so hard all week trying to find me a white iPad 2 for my 24th birthday yesterday and he did the impossible! Not only did he find it but he didn't have to wait in a fat line for it :) So major brownie points to my dear husband.

Now, speaking of my birthday... I am now an old hag. Officially in my mid-twenties and feeling grosser than ever about my age, I chose to spend my birthday night eating cereal at home and seeing a movie with Jordan. Although in my defense we haven't had a night in since before we left for Las Vegas last weekend.. We deserved a break! But back to the festivities.... Tonight we shall dine with Hollywood at Mr. Chow's in Beverly Hills. If you haven't been there, go! Tomorrow night we'll act young again at a dinner with friends in Corona Del Mar at The Crow Bar & Kitchen and then we will finally be done with the mad birthday marathon of events.

Look out world, theres a new old lady on the streets!!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Martha Stewart, I Hate You!

Hate is a strong word- more accurately I hate Martha Stewart's website. I found this great recipe to make homemade bath fizzies! And I thought, "What a great gift for my friend Gabby," who is coming down this weekend for her birthday. Fun right? So i got all the ingredients- ordered a 5 lb bag of citric acid online and today I finally made them. I followed the instructions on the site- what I thought was perfectly and then I'm realizing that something isn't right... After you start adding the water/food coloring mixture it's supposed to dampen a bit but not fizz- well, mine was fizzing. Maybe my water to food coloring ratio was off but i had to keep spritzing the mixture or it wouldnt take on the purple color. So it just kept fizzing and fizzing and it's supposed to be 'packable'. Well mine was certainly not that; it was like, growing... fizzing higher and higher. Once I spooned it into the ice cube trays and it looked like this:

I knew somewhere in there I had gone horribly wrong.

So now I'm left with a nasty- although relaxing smelling- mess (lavender breeze) and no thoughtful homemade birthday gift for Gabby.

So here's what I'm annoyed about... the website doesn't have step by step pictures- and maybe because I'm a visual person this helps me more than it might others- but this is more complicated than it looks and I now am let with less than enough cornstarch and baking soda to give it another go :(

I WILL try again though. Soon. Because homemade bath fizzies are just too cute to give up on.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I'm boring, I know.

I'm home sick from work today so it's the perfect time to post! I wish I had something interesting to post about. Oh well. Last night I had two of my best friends over for dinner.. I had planned on making tortellini with chicken and homemade alfredo (a personal specialty) and garlic bread... but then when I was sitting at my computer at work I found myself craving cheddar buttermilk biscuits. I discovered these little beauties at a delicious restaurant in Napa called Farmstead... if you're ever there go to this restaurant. Anyway, because of that little craving I tossed the idea of italian, despite the fact i already had half the ingredients in my house, in search of something that would go with these cheddar buttermilk biscuits, aka: comfort food.

I thought about chicken pot pie- but I don't have those individual bowls to cook them in, I thought about shepard's pie- but it looks weird and one of my friends is allergic to peas, and finally landed on beef stew. I've eaten it plenty in my life but never made it and honestly I really wanted to bust out my crock pot again :) So I used this recipe from Paula Dean as a guideline and adjusted it with beef broth, onion soup mix... flour.. whatever I decided I felt like tossing in there. I was a little concerned things wouldn't turn out well b/c I was making 2 things I'd never attempted before.. BUT everything turned out great!! The stew was delicious, the biscuits were to die for, the mashed potatoes were of course yummy but they're easy, and well the salad was salad.

I also made individual pies in a jar for dessert but we didnt get to eat them b/c the boys wanted to go to the wine bar down the street. So we went and they were closing, then we went to main street and found a bar and continued to bar hop for a while- who goes out on a wednesday night?! Us apparently. I was so exhausted by the first bar I was tired and ready to go home, but no one else did... mhrrr. Oh well we had fun but at a price.. Staying up later than 10:30 (i'm apparently a 23 yr old granny) made the cold I'd been fighting off finally win- hence my sick day.

SO to make myself feel better I'm getting my hair done tomorrow and I'm going- wait for it.... BLONDE! It was between fire red and blonde, and since I went red this time last year I decided it's time to have more fun.

Is this not the most boring post ever? I'm tempted to just delete the whole thing. I'm too tired to think of something clever and entertaining. oh well.

Monday, January 17, 2011

My Subconscious is an Enigma

Wild, vivid dreams are no stranger to my unconscious nights. I often dream of outrageous things, however the last 2 nights they were different somehow...

2 Nights ago I dreamt that my husband and I were at an apartment complex we recently toured and as we stepped out we saw the bright red of the sunset- unusually red- filling the sky... we stared at it and suddenly it opened up and huge figures of men were coming through... they were the same color red like as if made of smoke and mist... I turned to my husband and said, "It's finally time..." and then I fell into unconsciousness. When I woke I was not in Heaven as I expected to be. The rapture had not happened- the sky never opened I just passed out and that was what I saw when I did... I expected that it must have been a premonition or something... the dream went on to other weird things- I woke up and it took a while to shake the feeling that it was real.

Last night I dreamt wildly again... I dreamt we went to the moon we flew in a shuttle- like a shuttle bus. It didn't take long at all actually. There were a lot of people with us too... like just other tourists.  We watched the new world they built on the moon go by our windows as it slowed to show us the beautiful new settlement... almost ready for people to move and live there- make the Moon their new home. It was full of large rivers and lakes and cities built on cliffs by the waterside. It was all new but looked old- like Narnia or Rivendale. With a golden glow and glittering light from the sun shining all over it.

The first dream was a little unsettling... the second was nice, however combined they forebare a frightful  picture.

Now I'm not saying my dreams are of the future or even that the things written to be symbolized by these things in dreams are real or to be taken seriously- but I have always felt that dreams are more than just random thoughts and memories from your waking life jumbled together into a stream of odd events.

I haven't found any dream dictionaries that cover "rapture"... but...

Sun: God, illumination, strength, masculine energy, your true self or conscious ego, life, waking consciousness (ironic, no?), joyous events and prosperity...

The Color Red- passion, anger, raw power, caution/danger, symbol of life...

A red sun predicts a struggle from which you will emerge victorious. (phewf!)

Moon (to see it): femininity, psychic/ intuition, feminine and spiritual self, light in the dark, success in love and business, fertility, new life

Moon (to fly to it): Global Disaster, war, famine, Troubles of all kinds you will soon hear of...

And then I saw this which coincidentally combined both dreams:
To see the heavens illuminated, with the moon in all her weirdness, unnatural stars and a red sun, or a golden one, you may look for distress in its worst form. Death, family troubles, and national upheavals will occur.

Creepy right?????? Lets just hope that it was just the ice cream I had making me dream like a loon. Although Jesus coming wouldn't be bad at all. So maybe we should hope that I'm a psychic and my dreams are premonitions. ;-)

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Indulgence, Diets, and Judgment

I don't really make New Years resolutions... they never stick and then just make you feel guilty for not following through. So, I made no resolution for 2011. 

Dear Husband and I have been talking about getting back to the gym and back in shape for a while but just haven't really gotten serious about it- what with the holidays and all... anyway I kept telling him "After the holidays are over we'll really get to work"... this was my excuse to indulge and eat whatever I want and not have to miss out on delicious and fattening goodies at parties and family gatherings. 

Although I suppose if it's a habit it wouldn't really be indulging would it?

DH bought me the Reebok Runtone's so I can run to work out, or at least that's the idea- but really the reason I wanted them is because the girls on the commercials have such great butts and my flat ass is a sad disappointment. I also decided to try that Special K 2 week challenge. The issue is that I'm the least self-disciplined person in the world- hate dieting, hate working out, always cheat... but I really do wanna shape up and feel better about myself (and my eternal spare tire). I figured this might be a good place to start.

Anyway, I went to Target tonight (a much delayed errand) to return some items and pick up a few things I've been meaning to buy like a scale and free weights... cat food, etc. I get up to the register and after I've laid all my purchases on the belt I suddenly feel an overwhelming rush of embarrassment as I see what it looks like. I've got an intense weight watchers scale, a million boxes of Special K diet bars, protein meal shakes, free weights, a yoga dvd, wheat thins, organic fruit strips... "Hi! I think I'm fat, my new years resolution was to lose weight, I'm really excited to start and I'm buying all this stuff to try and get skinny and feel better about myself!" Thats what my line up of purchases was saying to everyone that could see them and the check girl. I felt judged. So judged.

The Flavia Thief

Awkward and odd interactions are nothing out of the ordinary to me at work. Being the receptionist- usually all you get are the quirky, nervous, or obnoxious side of employees and visitors. Yesterday I was just sitting, minding my own business when an employee from the other building with a thick russian accent stops at my desk on his way to his building... He holds up an entire hangar of Flavia flavor inserts for our big fancy coffee machine and asks me, "Who is responsible for refilling these? The machine in my building is out of this kind and I need more- it needs to be refilled." I told him the name of our day porter who is the person who refills the machines every day. And to my surprise he had no idea who I was talking about.... 

Everyone at our company knows the day porter.... he's the guy u call to clean crap up, haul stuff, bring you things, set up for meetings... anyway, he had no idea who I'm talking about, and, quite frankly, seemed upset that I wasn't the one responsible for refilling the machines because he seemed to want to be mad at someone for his machine being out of the "raspberry spark" flavor (I'm not kidding- he was all in a tissy for that girly flavor)... And to make it worse he has those cookie-monster eyes where they're looking different directions... so it probably upset him that I was switching between eyes bc I didn't know which one to look at when talking to him... 

So he leaves me a packet of the flavor to show the day porter and then runs off to his building with all of the packets from our building's machine. I laughed in astonishment and called the day porter to tell him what happened. Of course, this is his domain- restocking and such... so he got a little perturbed that someone was messing with his stuff. He dashes over and asks me about the exchange and then goes running after the thief. 

Come to find out later, the russian employee's name is Igor. Sadly ironic.